Thursday, 15 May 2014

THE MISNOMER: LOVE



I've heard this debate for quite a while, and getting words for it I must admit has been pretty difficult. Love is a topic that many find quite amusing, intriguing and...hmm...interesting. This has led many to come up with different kinds of ideologies as to what constitutes this 'love' and sadly enough, some, if not most, of these ideologies, are ill-advised, wrong, and/or downright misleading.

Many are led to believe that love is a feeling.
That love is the natural attraction between individuals which causes them to share in beliefs, mindsets and future plans. Love, they say, is long-lasting. 'Love', apparently, 'don't die,' as a certain song dictates.

Indeed, I agree. Love is setting the needs of another or others before your very needs. Setting another person/other persons before yourself. And love is a beautiful thing. It is! It truly is! Love changes the world and continues to influence goodwill towards others. And as it says in John 15:13 (NIV): "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.". The love of Jesus Christ that he can die on the cross for not only the righteous, but also the unrighteous. The greatest love indeed!

However, I didn't come before you to discuss the King of Kings, and the Lord of Lords, as that is a topic for another day.

I came to poke questions as to why whereas there are so many songs and media on 'Love', why the number of divorces and separations continue to rise every single day? There's a song lyric: "Love songs making girls wail and cry, but the number of pregnant young females is high".

People sing on love every hour, every minute, every second, every ounce of their energy...only so that once they are in a committed relationship for a few months, they comment that "I no longer have feelings for my partner." They spend months coming to learn more and more about their spouses only so that they lament that "My relationship is boring...I don't feel 'connected' to my wife/husband any more".

But I thought you said 'Love don't die'?! I thought you swore allegiance to that particular person?! Wait...didn't you even do in front of friends and family?! Didn't you do it in the presence of God?! Didn't you claim to love this particular person come rain come sunshine?!

I heard a particular train of thought as to why there are so many people talking about love. This is how it went: "In times of famine, there are many songs talking about rain- because that's what the people long for. THAT is why there're songs about love. Because love is a fantasy. It doesn't exist anymore. That's why!"

Gauge for yourself by looking at the statistics of marriages around the world. Look at relationships around you. How many people are actually happy?! Many relationships are filled with non-ending arguments and they mask their unhappiness with the phrase that "No relationship is a bed of roses." Yes! It's true! No relationship is a bed of roses. Nonetheless, if your moments of anger and despair are more than your moments of happiness, then there is absolutely NO love whatsoever present! Truth be told; you're trapped in your own self-caused cobweb of a bad relationship.

I was told once by a foreigner; a chain smoking Italian she was. I asked her why she smoked tobacco so avidly yet she was quite aging. "Aren't you worried about your health? Don't you know the effect of tobacco on your lungs, and your whole body in general?!" I said. Then she gave me a response that I absolutely loved. This is what she said; "Take this from me...nothing in this world can kill you. Nothing! Only a bad relationship! That's the only thing that can kill you!"

Which now brings me to the solution- because it is said: "For what good does it do a man to state a problem without providing a solution?". Lay the misleading concepts aside, and listen to good counsel. Set afar from your mind the ill-advised analogies on love.

Love is not a feeling. Love is not fully based on what you 'feel' at the moment. No! Love is a decision. Love is a commitment. When you utter the words "I love you", you are promising your listener that you are committed to them. You are promising them that whatever temptations may come your way, you shall not do anything that will break their heart. Their happiness ought to be based on you because whatever happens, you shall always love them. You shall always care for them.

So, don't be misled into believing that love is a feeling, and that it can somehow drift away. No! Well, yes! It is true: "Love don't die". But don't forget, only TRUE love don't die. The prima-facie feeling of love dies. It drifts away with the wind like a passing cloud. Only true love doesn't die!

And on that note, John 15:12 (KJV) : "This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you."

2 comments:

  1. I can echo this on the rooftops as indeed, true love does not die. Trying to understand His love for us has taken me years and hoping the world comes to a point of mimicking His kind of love: Reckless and never ending!

    Bravo for the truth; epigrammatically written��

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can echo this on the rooftops as indeed, true love does not die. Trying to understand His love for us has taken me years and hoping the world comes to a point of mimicking His kind of love: Reckless and never ending!

    Bravo for the truth; epigrammatically written��

    ReplyDelete